he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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