I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
