Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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