is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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