Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
