$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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