Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
