His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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