OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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