i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
