Apparently you make a good broom.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
