Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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