I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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