pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
