In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
