WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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