Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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