Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
And then he peed in my hair
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