GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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