I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize