If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
