Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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