At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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