One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
