Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
