he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
