I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
