even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
