Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Randomize
