Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
