Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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