I think i peed on brittanys purse
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize