I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Jerry, you need to find god
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize