We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
When are your genitals available?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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