I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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