GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
