I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
