when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
then he tried to convert me to islam
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
