He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
