you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
