u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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