gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
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