belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
