Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I AM VODKA MAN
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
