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• (586): View more from Michigan

  their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  and what kinds of feelings would these be?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Happy, horny, occasionally hungry

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• (415): View more from California

  How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome

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• (817): View more from Texas

  you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer

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• (727): View more from Florida

  You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things

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• (214): View more from Texas

  BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.

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• (909): View more from California

  I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap

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