The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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