She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize