just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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