...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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