Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Randomize
