I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
