listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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