I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
