JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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