He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
