So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
