and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize