If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
