When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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