know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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