i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
