I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize