Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
