She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
